thegayswhocouldfly:

so me and my siblings (theres 3 of us) were eating dinner with my dad and we were talking about dad jokes and all of a sudden my dad goes “ive only made 3 jokes in my life and theyre all sitting in front of me”

thats it

the dad joke to end all dad jokes

bloody-men-with-blue-eyes:

iatethelastofthecorn:

fandomacepilot:

Repeat after me kids:

A relationship does not have to be romantic and/or sexual to be important. 

image

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

pro tip: glue a tiny mirror over your drivers license photo so when you  hand it to the police they will get confused and arrest themselves instead

robertshmurder:

the game is evolving too quickly

this-slag:

thesassycat:

what if all the scenerios we make up in our head are actually real events happening in an alternative universe and we’re actually connecting with our alternate self’s mind

my alternate self is getting some serious dick